Friday, February 22, 2008

Urban subculture for children sucks!

You thought the World Sucks series had ended? No, it is just in the process of gathering data for cool new posts! This one is about moronic shows on children TV! Do their parents know what "children-centric" stuff their kids watch?

First of all I must explain what "manele" is. It is a kind of music with Arabic and Romanian folk music influences that has become a symbol of a type of Romanian urban subculture inspired from tribalism. You know the type, they are never original: members call themselves a family, they call each other brother, they dress and behave in a "manly" fashion, with speech inflexions that are supposed to show how tough and superior they are. It's like the US "African-American" street culture and in many ways it is a local clone of it.

Ok, now for the actual topic of this post. Yesterday I was watching TV (why, you ask? because I haven't bought yet the second computer and my wife commandeered the only one) and I was given the ultimate proof that it makes people dumb. It was a children TV show that involved teenagers from our own time having superpowers in some mystical realm.

So far so good, but then I noticed how their super powers came from a cell phone! To invoke the magical mana they actually typed some number on the phone pad. Then they transformed into colored knights that were heavily inspired from Japanese shows of the same persuasion, basically a guy in a colourful spandex suit and a motorcycle helmet with a silly sword in hand. The colors of the knights were a bright green, a bright cyan, pink, bright magenta, red and yellow! But what shocked me the most was that they spoke in "manele" style, calling each other "brother" and basically street talk! When they actually combined into a big mechanical knight on a big mechanical flying dragon and fought against what looked like a monster hydra with special effects from the old Japanese Godzilla versus [enter stupid monster name here] movies I was laughing my ass off.

No, really, I am not kidding! This was on TV, on a children's channel! Yeah, bro, that's coo'! Gimme five (gay porn looking knights that "couple" with each other to form a really stupid looking toy like fighting machine)! TV sucks, that was obvious, but to actually show this kind of scatological aberration is even beyond my pessimistic expectations.